Lost in textlation
I’ve noticed a change in social mores with the advent of technology, specifically, with relationships in the age of texting. Cell phones have changed our lives and the way we communicate – texting even more so.
Caveat: I do not text. I am a technological dinosaur, to be sure, but I’ve just never had the need to. I have to admit I use my phone for convenience, not socializing; pathetic, I know. I’m not professing to know what I talk about from a professional point of view – I’m just fascinated with the whole phenomenon, and these are just my observations.
I once witnessed texting going on between two people who wanted to catch a movie. They went back and forth on which movie and what time – it took fifteen minutes for them to work out something they could have done verbally in under two minutes. There was no reason they couldn’t have called each other, it just never occurred to them to do so.
Using a cell phone to converse verbally is becoming rarer all the time. Texting is becoming the norm.
I understand the novelty – kind of like passing notes in class. I can also see the convenience of using texts when phone calls would be inappropriate, but more and more it simply seems to be the preferred mode of communication.
I have a few theories on this. One is that there is less anxiety in sending a message to someone than there is to actually call. Verbally communicating takes effort, and let’s face it, we are a lazy bunch. Aren’t we all happy to get the answering machine? Being able to leave a message without having to hear a response or deal with conversation is a real relief. That is why people choose to send texts when they dump a boyfriend or girlfriend; which is the ultimate in taking the easy way out. Pathetic and cowardly to boot.
Texting takes the humanity out of conversation. It is difficult to put emotion in written words (trust me, I’m a writer, I know this), if not impossible, especially brief messages written in shorthand. You can’t hear inflection or emotion in a text – so a simple sentence can be taken in many different ways, depending on the mood of the receiver. Okay, YOU CAN SHOUT IN CAPS, and use ; ) to try to convey your tone and meaning, but these devices aren’t always sufficient or dependable.
“y didn’t u go 2 the party?” can be interpreted in several ways. It could be taken as sounding accusatory, or sympathetic. “whatev” might have a trace of irritation in it, or the sender may honestly not care – no offense intended. And let us not forget the lazy or hurried texters that send the briefest blunt messages, sounding like they don’t have patience to deal with you.
How many misunderstandings have arisen from ambiguous text messages? How many of you have stared at a text you received over and over, trying to divine what the sender was really saying? Have you ever had a text you sent be misunderstood?
Let me know your thoughts on how texting affects relationships. TTYL!
I know exactly what you mean- texts can be misunderstood so easily. All of my ‘modern’ friends speak in text- even in handwritten letters! I wish people would just call me if they wanted to tell me something, instead of using up all of my text messages in a hour and constantly interupting my work. My phone is always on vibrate, but saved text messages take up all the memory. I reply to about 0.5% of them, and delete the rest every month. On my personal email I usually write ‘not fluent in textadialect, please use spellcheck and capitalize your I’s to avoid being placed in spam, thank you!’
My cell phone is never on unless I want to take a photo or call my husband unless I’m out for the day and I leave it on so he can contact me. Unless I had children I wouldn’t want anyone else to be able to contact me while I’m out. I hate phones. What I find baffling and socially detrimental is the way people will be together, but one or all of them are on the phone attempting to communicate with people who aren’t with them (I don’t mean the people who need to make a brief phone call, but the people who ignore their companion/s and chatter away or text pointlessly to someone not present. What I find really disturbing are the mothers out and about with their children with phones practically glued to their ear. When are the children supposed to bond with their mother if she’s on the phone all the time? Personally, I find it really irritating if I agree to spend time with someone and they end up on the phone chattering for no reason other than they can. It just so rude…though perhaps they secretly wish I’d exit their life and never speak to them again? Their wish will be granted! I suspect that all these so called friends who clump together but spend the entire time on the phone to other people (and I’ve seen this in all age brackets) I suspect these people aren’t really good friends with any of the people they’re with or texting. How can they be good friends if they never spend any quality time communicating? It’s almost as if these people think of their friends as a comodity they can put on a shelf as a decoration…”Look, I have this many friends…aren’t I popular/liked etc!”…(a mentality not helped by participating in certain online communities). But unless they spend time properly communicating face to face they won’t be real friends…they’re just acquaintences who share the same space. If people can’t communicate in an age of communication…that’s a problem!
As for texting, I don’t use it and I really hate it when people use text-speak in e-mails. If they knew how stupid it makes them look they’d take another two minutes and write out what they mean…if they can.
My phone does one thing: make and receive calls. I just don’t get the hype. But I know teens who can’t be separated from their phones for more than ten minutes. They go into shaking and convulsions. It’s insanity!
Exactly – this is the phenomena I am fascinated with. This whole new generation will build relationships that are essentially connected to technology…they’re whole way of communicating and connecting with other human beings will be interwoven with it.